Dr. Phil

This guy is from Arizona and 31 years old, so I'm not sure why he would even pass through my profile, let alone message me.

My profile is pretty basic. It lists movies, music and books I enjoy. I talk about my interest in nutrition, past attempt at being vegan and trying new foods. My last paragraph is not something I will apologize on if that is what he is referring to. I have to do it because men do not realize I have a specific type of person I get along with. If men can list they don't want fat chicks, I should not get any flack for saying I'd prefer no text speak in our emails. I'll never know what he is talking about because he never responded back. Maybe he is high on pot and projecting? Maybe he is one of the countless men on the site who are mad women do not reply to their emails, so he has to send random emails that will always provoke a response? I'm clearly over thinking this, haha.

I eventually skimmed through his profile to see if his pretentious ego matched up and it did, obviously. Also, I was right. He is another man who is bitter about women and the rejection from the dating scenes. It's so damn long that I'm putting it under a cut. If you can get through this part without rolling your eyes, you win the game! Nonetheless, it is an interesting read through the eyes of an insecure man on a dating site.

*Update: He deleted that part of his profile.

I'm really good at:
Just about everything I commit my mind, heart and time to. If you think that sounds cocky you probably won't appreciate my personality, humility or sense of humor.

You should message me if:
A minimum of 62.9% of my profile seemed to engage you....and you got this far without just going back to my cute pictures.

I'm not going to use my typical Adamness prose in this blog. Just going to type in the raw and try to get this out the best I can.

I don't understand.

I see it...I comprehend it. I can almost process it. I can certainly play it....but I definitely don't understand this freedom...this gift that women have.

I know for certain that maybe only 2% of females even know that they have this gift and maybe only 2% of that population actually know how to use it properly.

This gift is the ability (or inability) to be "approached". What I mean is...there's probably only a few types of women in the world who DO the approaching. And I don't want to offend if you're that type of woman...but it's usually quite unbecoming. Even if you're a knockout, all around class act...it's typically minus signs in my book if you do that. But we're getting off subject. The "approach".

Any woman....tall, skinny, fat, pretty, ugly, confident, insecure, deformed....doesn't matter....will at some point be "approached". And this of course is the process by which a man, interested in said female for whatever reason, musters up the courage, confidence or simply boastful ego to display his peacock feathers in the opening move/attempt to secure a few minutes of the female's time and attention.

When I watch this...at a club, bar, library, beach, bank or grocery store, while the approach may change only by circumstance, the manner and rules stay the same.

It's as though women have this luxury of seeing all the options at a buffet and are able to read a thorough explanation of the ingrediants, process by which the dish was made, and even get a taste test if so desired...all before slopping the item onto their plate and checking out. Here we have some of the lettuce options; this one is iceburg, and here we have garden mix, and we even have some peppery arugula if you're feeling european. And over here some sliced ham, rather plain but consistant or you could have the artichoke marinated pork cutlets with a side of roasted red garlic potatoes and grilled peppers if you need more substance...and look down there, today we have fresh lobster if you're a pallet is on the salty side.

All in all...you have it made. You don't like our nose. We talk funny. We wore the wrong name brand tonight. You dated a guy with that cologne last month and he was a douche bag. Whatever the reasoning...if there's anything at first that DOESN'T catch your interest....you can simply (and preferably cordially) ask us to move on.

But alas, do you know what we have to brace ourselves for mentally each time we seek you out of a crowd to pay homage to whatever feature(s) it was that brought us over to you? Do you ever stop and actually consider that we could just simply be interested in knowing who you are and what makes you tick...we're not ALL trying to get laid......all the time.

I'm not asking any of you to change. I am saying...imagine putting on your most amazing little black dress, those sick ass gucci heels you just dropped 4 bills on, spending the 2 hours fighting with the chi and not getting even one head to turn.....that's the same deflated feeling even the cockiest prick of a man feels when we know we've been shut down for a conversation because something about us isn't EXACTLY your type.

And let's just take that little bit of honest one step further to say....does ANY woman REALLY know EXACTLY what she wants when it comes to ANYTHING?

I think if the answer was yes there's no way in hell you would NEED ten pairs of black shoes. Notice we men can pull off quite a bit of style with the same single serving formula we've known for generations - one nice casual, one beat up pair of sneaks, one nice pair brown leather, one nice pair black leather, one pair of "this will do as a change up".

At any rate...I love you women and I always will. Keep doing what you do...don't change and certainly not for little old me. I am....Just Adam.