Profiles


I have been seeing profiles where the males on the site sound bitter and angry over how women act on Okcupid. Do they really believe girls will flock to them? I'd personally prefer my future boyfriend to not be a member in the "He-Man Woman Haters Club".


This one was just plain psychotic (and my favorite):

I love to breathe. I love cool breezes. I love whispering to God. I love shouting to God. I love riding a bike really fast down steep hills. I love walking very slowly on an empty wooded pathway. I love sitting in a rocking chair and enjoying the sun falling asleep in the distance. I love being alone in a crowd. I love running toward something. I love traveling, when living life is my goal, not getting away. I love the sounds of life. My favorite places are historical sites. My dream is to one day sneak into a three hundred year old house and make love on a rope bed. Sweet tea is my biggest weakness. I have been in love only twice. I think nuclear bombs are bad news. I am blessed beyond measure, beyond treasure. I'm very open. I used to play some music sometimes. I think you are a beautiful.



No white girls allowed:

You should message me if you like me and you want me as your best male friend on this earth and you like a man that would respect you with all his heart and mind with the tip of thoughts that would show you respect. I would like a spanish sweet heart that would be nice. I have been hurt to many times by white girls sorry to any of the white girls that might be offended by this on hear. I might give you a chance if you can show me that I can trust a white girl again. So that is what i would really like is for you women to give me a chance please please please please please give me a chance more then just one or two or three it might take more then that and so please please please please send me a nice message thank you.


Then we have makeup sex. No homoooo!:

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i kiss my guy friends on the mouth (only a select few cuz we've known each other forever, no homo)...for instance... when they are flippin out on me for some stupid reason and we're up in each others' grill, i'll plant one on em since our faces are so close together. then we laugh about how gay that was and we go from mad to glad cuz that's funny stuff


Way more profiles under the cut.

Men and height

It's common knowledge that men lie on their height by 2 inches. I expect it when I meet someone. I met a guy off the site who said he was 6'0'', but in person, he was probably 5'9''-5'10'' tops. I'm 5'7'', so I can gauge height in men easier. I scrolled through my recently viewed list and this guy stood out to me like crazy. He said he was 6'0'' and by the photo, he looks 5'8'' tops.
DON'T LIE ABOUT YOUR HEIGHT! WE'LL FIND OUT!

Go with your gut.

That is what always works. A guy messages me. He looks like a serial killer in his photos and I notice he is always shirtless, but he seemed okay, so I kept talking.


We talk on IM and he mentions how he is into "erotic photography". I already knew about the erotic part by his profile mentioning "erotic poetry". I was concerned, but I was bored and wanted to see if he could be more than what I assumed. He kept sending me photos of himself. I never had a guy send so many photos of himself.

He starts bringing up sexual things more into the conversation and I tell him how I am NOT on Okcupid for that. If I was, I'd put "for casual sex" on my profile and I don't. I tell him about some of my relative's pasts. He tells me how he goes on Plenty of Fish for random sex! That site is nasty.

HIM
oh my
we wouldn't work out lol
you come from a 'promiscuous' bunch and seemingly want to separate yourself from that
while I came from a sexless household and will probably want to savagely use my dick until it doesn't point straight anymore
not that it does anyways haha


His Okcupid questions were also alarming:

Do you enjoy giving oral sex?
Love it! This may be one of the few times I indulge in my child ego state, but dear god, cuff my hands behind my back, grab me by the head and force my head between your lap, dig your nails into the back of my neck and hold me there until you can't take it anymore... please.


Uhhh..

Thanks..





Or maybe.. I was just never interested
Aww



Monkey what?



This is trying too hard

You know what's awkward?

When you view your visitors list and you click on a person's profile only to remember that it's that one guy you have been ignoring or you are constantly playing profile tag only realizing it is them before it is too late. That is awkward to me and happens way too often. My '"hide" list is huge for this reason..

4 pointless messages

4 bland and useless messages in a short span of time from different people. I hate messages like these. I never respond to them. I think they should put a little more effort in their messages. Something we have in common? Something you'd like to do in the city with me? That you think I have beautiful eyes? (J-k)




Personality

When I reached 200 questions on Okcupid, I got my "personality" evaluated. I personally think the Okcupid questions are a horrible invasion of privacy. I don't answer anything that involves sexual questions. You really want the public to know if you like your sex rough or if you masturbate every day?! Men always answer these questions with ease. I cringe when scrolling through their questions. I don't want to know if you own sexy underwear or not. From what I have seen in their answers, a lot of men do. Maybe to them it means it's a pair of boxers with no holes in it. I'd rather not think about it.

This is what my personality came out to be. Not surprising, but oh my gosh will that scare any man away. A boring, celibate grandma from the 1900's.

It's time for a therapist, not a dating account

This is a somewhat long conversation. He had messaged me months ago with the same attitude. Here is a snippet:






Click below to read the entire conversation.

Oh and I knew back in 2010 he messaged me the same thing
Dec. 5, 2010 – 11:07pm
So I have a question. If you are not looking for a relationship, why are you on here? Curiosity? Shits and giggles? I guess if someone comes along that is too good to be true, that would be ideal, but I just find it interesting that you reiterate that point that you are not looking for anything multiple times.

Dr. Phil

This guy is from Arizona and 31 years old, so I'm not sure why he would even pass through my profile, let alone message me.

My profile is pretty basic. It lists movies, music and books I enjoy. I talk about my interest in nutrition, past attempt at being vegan and trying new foods. My last paragraph is not something I will apologize on if that is what he is referring to. I have to do it because men do not realize I have a specific type of person I get along with. If men can list they don't want fat chicks, I should not get any flack for saying I'd prefer no text speak in our emails. I'll never know what he is talking about because he never responded back. Maybe he is high on pot and projecting? Maybe he is one of the countless men on the site who are mad women do not reply to their emails, so he has to send random emails that will always provoke a response? I'm clearly over thinking this, haha.


I eventually skimmed through his profile to see if his pretentious ego matched up and it did, obviously. Also, I was right. He is another man who is bitter about women and the rejection from the dating scenes. It's so damn long that I'm putting it under a cut. If you can get through this part without rolling your eyes, you win the game! Nonetheless, it is an interesting read through the eyes of an insecure man on a dating site.

*Update: He deleted that part of his profile.